I dont know

June 14 [Thu], 2012, 22:36
I dont know what to do. I dont know what to say. I dont know how i should change this.

Everything is annoying and Everything is not fine.

Nobody can help me. The saddest point is that i dont have anybody whom I can rely on.

I cant express my feeling to anybody. Thats why i decided to make my own blog which is not for showing to others.

This is for me, this is my diary.

First of all, i feel really stressed at home unless im listening to music in my room. I know, if i change my behavior, it would be fine and we could enjoy again. but i know the same thing keep happening. And i dont have any energy to change this atmosphere.

I dont enjoy school life, cuz stupid things bother me. my feeling is just getting worse. Then I come back to home, other stressed things hit me. and i dont try to compromise. just ignoring and giving bad behavior to others.

I know it is my fault but i dont wanna change. honestly i cant change.

what should i do? i guess things get worse and worse...
who can help me?

friendship is difficult. we know something wrong between us. am i wrong?
should i forgive? not forgiveness. i mean closing my eyes is the best?

she enjoys herself with other friends and it seems like I dont want you to enjoy myself. she often says, " school is boring sucks...." after school and she was with me. it is not polite. i was with you, is it my fault that you couldnt enjoy the school? it is not what she is saying but i dont feel comfortable after reading these kind of messages every time.
but i dont want feel i hate her. cus she is my important friend. but i dont know what to do.
and now i dont wanna see her.... i dont have confidence to be nice to her.

Maybe we need time?
I just dont know.

I want anybody come in my room. please leave me alone. you are giving me insomnia.
Please notice my feeling.

i know im stupid. i cant change now. LET IT BE......
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  • アイコン画像 ニックネーム:maru
It is not a blog to show what i have in my mind to others. I just want to know my feeling. I hope this blog help me to remove my stress. In addition, i believe keeping records is good for leeping my english up.
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