tough days 

April 02 [Mon], 2007, 22:45
my baby's leaving for schools this saturday.
so i've been having really tough days.
i have to be away from him for 7 months at least.
to be honest, im real scared.
i dont think i deserve him.
i believe theres someone beter than me to make him happy.
but nah, i wanna be happy and i need him.

i tried to break up with him so manytimes cuz i was scared to lose him.
just like "You cant fire me, cuz im quitting first!" shit
so yeah, but i couldnt
we've decided we need each other.

so ill wait for him for 7 months.
only 30 weeks.

i will spend the 6th with him together, the day before he leaves.
i really wanted to spend more time with him last month, but he was busy so i have to accept it.

i was real jealous yesterday cuz he went out with his friends (I was working)
but i was thinking this way: he will see me again when he comes back here, but his friends will be gone when he comes back, so he needs to spend lots of time with them.

I might lose him, to be honest.
I might get so scared and just give up on everything, him, and myself.
but I will try my hardest, hardest ever, to keep him.

I wont hurt myself anymore.
I will live life to the fullest.
I will see friends as much as i can.
i will go out when its sunny

I will think about him everyday.

I will keep telling him Im missing him to death but doing alright thinking about him.

I will try.
I will not cry much.

He is making me stronger.

im alive 

December 16 [Sat], 2006, 23:04
well, im alive. Im doing great actually.
i got a new job, i like it a lot.
ive been good with my bf.
Hes going to school for 6 months in the states from april though.
yup ill wait and we are gonna get together after that.
i cant wait

I took this pic today.
kids were playing football in the ground and i thought these leaves were so pretty.
i like being on base kinda, cuz the sky's wide.

my body 

November 14 [Mon], 2005, 1:14
My entire body hurts!! I'm so tired...

I'll write more often :)


October 02 [Sun], 2005, 0:17
I'm almost crying now!! haha
I'm so tired today cuz I worked for 14 hours after a short sleep (a few hours) and I couldn't find any part time teachers to take care of a big test coming tomorrow, so I have to do it with my boss. He didn't want to come, but I told him "Could you help me tomorrow cuz I'll work from 8am to 10pm just like you, so you can't complain" haha And he said "umm fine fine, I will" :p
But a few minutes ago, a girl who works with me (she's really cute and I really like her) just mailed me like this: "You looked really sick today though, are you alright? Please take a long rest tonight, and I told you that I couldn't help you tomorrow but my plan was canceled, so I'll go there around noon and help you with data input and stuff"
Oh man, I am almost crying! Nobody really cared about me, and I was kinda upset (cuz I don't have days off till next Sunday... 10 straight working days!!) and nobody noticed it. She always helps me and mails me once in a while. So I care about her and give her advice on her class and stuff too.

Anyway, I gotta get up at 7 again. I'm SO sick of this!

But my depression's going away, I think!! wooohooooo

I received a mail from Jeff who I've known on the net for like 6 years.
It's always really nice to hear from people I've known for a long time.


September 27 [Tue], 2005, 12:43
Couldnt sleep till five or so. it was pretty over the mountain!


September 22 [Thu], 2005, 15:43
This is not very nice, is it!? haha


September 09 [Fri], 2005, 23:07
I drove 10000km FINALLY!! lol


September 07 [Wed], 2005, 23:45
I dont know how to call this in english but it was pretty good! i made the pasta all by myself! yum!


September 07 [Wed], 2005, 23:08
I love looking at the sky! i took some pics so u can see them!


September 04 [Sun], 2005, 21:26
This year i dont have english conversation class so i dont have to prepare for the party!!! i really dont like parties for kids cuz its sooo tiring to think of games and stuff!!
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