blog move 

June 04 [Sun], 2006, 18:43
my blog is now moved to avid readers pls go there.

Stop hurting me... 

May 23 [Tue], 2006, 4:59
stop hurting me.. u noe who u really very sad.. it still hurts...

if u dun wanna talk to me its fine with me... but coz we still *feel* for each other i noe ur sad too.. maybe* i guess... i really wanna talk to u... but i guess u dun wish to talk with me.. so just make ur choice.. like u did before.. i wish that ur happy n that u'll find ur happiness.. i noe u'd live life better than me... like before u ever knew me or chatted with me.

i hope everything goes well for u, that u'd smile again.

i still think of u everytime... thinking wat ur doing everytime.. but just trying not to think abt u anymore. i miss u anyhow. i wonder if we'll stop missing each other.. but i know its not for now.

still missin' u ... so much sometimes...

in japan... 

May 17 [Wed], 2006, 8:27
its 08.30am...just arrived at hotel.. supposed to be slping now but feel like netting..i actually wonder who ever reads my blog... johnny tells me he reads rather constantly.. but no comments left by him. BLEH!!! duno abt the rest...hmm dreading this flight.. i really wish i can quit this stupid job. watever.. was late for showup 30mins. heard SU time wrong. duno whose fault is it..maybe mine maybe office. SUX. i may either get fired.. or quit anytime. WATEVER. heard that UA is better from seniors.. can even become chief purser. my airline will never promote us. FOREVER AF*.

Recently been making plans on how i can leave this job without regrets. i hope my up n coming big project will work out. sherry has explained the many obstacles ahead of us... but no try duno can succeed or not. so bopian have to try.

*lick it down there* 

May 16 [Tue], 2006, 2:09
i was so high.. so high... or rather, i was so depressed..
wat do they call it... first time*n hopefully, my last time.
i thought of JTW i duno y, i wonder y.. i shouldnt have thought..
i did feel the fear, anxiety, stammering... L.O.S.T
not high happy but down..was so down... but i couldnt talk.. my limbs felt so heavy.. i think im depressed.. but i couldnt control.

i tot of my job.. i didnt want to take this flight so badly.. nothing's within my control i felt. i looked at the others... i think im the worst downer. 暗いかも。。。暗いi regretted doing it..i looked at ecchan... i saw her take another secretly in the bathroom..n then she puked again n again.. i was just stone.. i watched her cry fact, we all watched her cry n puke again.





もぅ〜〜〜苦しいぃぃぃぃぃまた来たのぉぉぉぉ!!!!!イヤダ!!!本当に嫌だった・・・やめて欲しかったの・・・・・動けなかった・・・ってか、ダウン(T.T) 真実の顔見て、優しかった・・・彼は本当に変わったのかな??珍しくて、愛ぉ感じてた・・・まさか、他のせ???

i duno y i did it, i duno if i did the right thing, i didnt expect it... didnt expect wat i saw.... i felt close to him again...

somethings lost were lost forever... then i lost consciousness again...

i didnt noe who they are what i said or if everything was real..i saw faces...n time stopped... high?? more rather as stoned... i was thinking.. but i dont remember anymore... i still think of JTW i wonder y..i was thinking wat was he doing... i dun remember wat i was thinking... excepts ... memory loss?? i almost fainted... i felt myself gone.

couldnt slp... i was in such pain .. i noe if i stood up.. i'd faint 4 sure..i felt JTW gone..i noe he's gone..couldnt think anymore. .

Love Story 

May 03 [Wed], 2006, 5:12
Love story (原創版) 詞曲:阿沁

愛的故事有很多*一定聽過 他們説 最美的愛情像湖泊

美的忍不住停留 像河邊的風 吹過了 卻飄下一片片 葉落

放開手 往北方走 留下 傷心的樹 獨自 忍受


只默默看著今夜天空 星光閃爍

看今夜的流星 笑我的心 閃爍美麗

我無法再冷靜 一定要傾聽 *是我的唯一

我不願去相信 我們之間 隔著海洋的距離

我的愛 已溶化 在空氣裡

BOYS??MEN??? Whichever... i wonder... 

April 28 [Fri], 2006, 7:09
Anyway.. SOMEONE has made an official complaint as in y i dont write abt him in my blog. i promise to write abt u n im writing now! JTW... how can it be that we're so similar, its like the telepathy, ur draining my energy. OR ur drawing me towards your holistic energy.

U feel me as much as i feel u, platonic n otherwise*we've never met but we noe that we do know each other. U noe u saw me before vice-versa. How is it possible 2 complete strangers r able to feel this way 4 each other.

the things we talk about, how we think, feel... sometimes we seem to feel each other.. not physically but mentally.. sometimes everyone feels like its a dream rite..
i once mentioned to u, esp when u dream, u feel that ur close to that certain someone but actually dont know who that is. we both have had similar dreams. i myself feel that it could be u.

yes how can i be like this i have a bf im attached! its not the thrill, im not looking for any. but u're maybe just different. when u parted with ur gf recently, i do feel u..i felt ur sadness n so i cried but not coz of how u treated me last nite but coz ur sad..
i also cannot believe how its possible sherry's seen u n i've seen robin. like wat she said.. Surreal..tho i duno if we'll ever meet but i do wish u happiness.. i noe i shouldn't be writing this but i do miss u JTW...i hope u cheer up n not continue being so down. i think ur a good guy, i dun think ur baiting me or have intentions.. i just feel so
i've never had any pilot interested in me till last nite... i duno him well thus nothing much to write abt him, except flirty..perhaps looking for more.*nice to me* of course, but last nite i was still thinking of for the pilot, i secretly wished its JTW instead.....


April 26 [Wed], 2006, 18:25



i also got this via my fave friend sherry : NARCISSIM, Secondary or pathological narcissism is a pattern of thinking and behaving in adolescence and adulthood, which involves infatuation and obsession with one's self to the exclusion of others. It manifests in the chronic pursuit of personal gratification and attention, in social dominance and personal ambition, bragging, insensitivity to others, lack of empathy and/or excessive dependence on others

ok nuff abt her WHORING news. unfortunately i cant mention WHO she is for some reason. SEE!! IM NICE!!


April 26 [Wed], 2006, 16:35
blogging.. i think im such a bad blogger...if thats wat they call it. i like reading other people's blog but not writing my own. happen to come across this very ANNOYING blog of some act cute girl. camWHORING.. as of wat she calls it CAMWHORING.. wat a word.. disgusting.. a very meticulous attempt trying to look good on the surface and yet rotten to the core inside IM PRETTY SURE of that!! pictures of herself flooding the whole site. SHE LOVE HERSELF So much.Narcissism. actually secretly awaiting her chance to fame hoping some random director aka PRODUCER will stumble upon her BLOG. contact her and then make her a fucking STAR. the overwhelming pictures like such a B-GRADE portfolio she's trying so hard!! hahhaa

i noe i sound like such a fucking BITCH i noe i M sometimes!! BUT WHICH GIRL ISNT HAH!

ok i duno her personally.. WHO AM I TO JUDGE RITE!! I NOE!! but i cant help it .. the blog's just too ANNOYING.. ironic in a way but yet i still READ IT.

first she BLABS n FLABS abt her current beaus.. n then that she is acquinting SMALLTIME LOCAL STARS such as the singapore IDOL 2nd runnerup. Goes on abt her possible path to stardom hanging ard smalltime stars or basketballers in TAIWAN. doh.. so wat!! y so many showey thick skinned people all around. n the typical.. TRYING SO HARD TO BE A FLIGHT ATTENDANT ALSO>> for wat fuck?! *im not being jealous or watever.. DO I NEED TO??* but no need to SELF PROCLAIM RITE. flight attendant?? haha! PULEASE. airlines can tell with 1 look. this girl sure kenna ZAP VERY JIALAT better dun recruit ahhahaha! we noe it man. not to be TOO SHOWEY is the best method!!! bitch!! i cant explain my excessive frustration toward this stranger i do not know. but her way of blogging and her RETARDED PICTURES OMG.


April 11 [Tue], 2006, 17:00
ok the past few days were hell.. i also havent been blogging for a while.. its so hard to keep up with this blogging shattzzzzzim so glad there's after the i hate flying but im like stuck to this lifestyle now.. how to get out of it... i like the shopping.. i bought so many stuffs in japan again.. n i actually planned not to buy anything this SFO flight.. ARGHHH i bought so many stuffs in jpn again... AGAIN... 1. princess sandals *too bad digicam got stolen.. cannot take pic* 2. glittering eye liners *silver n gold + black* 3. fake lashes again 4. NEW KANEBO WHITENING LOTION *supposedly number 1 in the world now.. first invented by kanebo n only sold in japan now ... fcking cost meeeee 11000yen* but how not to buy!! SHIT 5. kanebo eye makeup remover 6. kanebo eye cotton for makeup removing 7. cute orange top *for my matching jeans n new shoes* hah! so many more things i wanna buy le.. but how im not saving at all.. its very bad!!! cant stop buying kanebo's testimo also.. a DIE HARD FAN for wat 6 years now.. its crazy man.. i have every colour of their eye shadow.. even the new ones now.. also using their powder.. become member in singapore and japan.. i find it incredible for myself.. i just LOVE THEIR COLOURS.. so BEAUTIFUL!@!!! i will recommend the eye shadow to everyone... leave on 12 hours the colour still strong on eyelids!! dramatic effects.. esp plus my silver eyeliner or gold one... amazing eyes haha!! my camera got stolen so i need to buy a new one now... $$$ again.. no money .. FCK * i secretly wish my bf will earn more.. i noe he'll not read this ahhaha! *

Flight attendant ?? SO WAT?? 

March 24 [Fri], 2006, 22:52
yes i hate my job. i shall not deny it.

i hate my job
i hate my job
i hate my job
i hate my job
i hate my job

i wanna quit but i cant quit im in a transitional stage now. cant move back or forward. STUCK. y issit that everyone vies for this stupid job??? i just got *lucky* however greatfully regret. but who doesnt regret once into this stupid job.

10 curses to this job:
1. Insomnia - slp at weird hours... wakeup in the night ...
2. loneliness - was worse when i just started... now its better.. but still its gets so boring
3. TOO MUCH SHOPPING - i start buying more and more branded stuff the more i
fly... NO doesnt mean im Rich.. im not saving.. but i cant stop buying!!
4. The HIGHLIFE?? no highlife for me.. but definitely changing in terms of materialism... im still not so bad compared to the *a**n**se
5. I dun get to see my bf that much... i miss him ...
6. I dun get to see my own friends much
7. There's no envy in this line... i clean lavatories, i have to suck up to the stupidn retarded passengers.
8. Wats the point of working hard with no rewards.
9. Training to become the best actress in oscars
10. I found out how fake a person i am. N im becoming proud of that HAH!!!
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