so... 

December 20 [Tue], 2005, 14:47
it was my fuckin birthday. I never felt like BD is the special day. never. cuz i cannot get to be with someone I want. He didnt cerebrate my BD with all wish he has.
is this too selfish? but all girls wish if it happens for true. I have been wishing it for bout 5 yrs. it still makes me smile you're saying happy birthday to me. But...something is different...
You told me that we can be together more than 8month. you said ur gonna visit me in Japan. all those sweet promises are broken now. HOW SAD!?
I was so patient as much as I could be. I didnt tell you that i cried almost everyday or I always see you in my sight. but all the memories are juss gone. GONE.
why?
I was selfish and all that...i know that...

but whenever some evens goin on through the yr, there is no time that i dont think about you.

I wish the God is my friend.

great 

December 15 [Thu], 2005, 11:29
great that u set u as a busy. I knew it and i felt it.
Is is boring to talk to me or wut? Am I being annoying?

When u are on my mind at night, i cannot go to sleep.
I even try to ask God that if I can go back to the past.
The sad thing is that Im used to it.
Im used to this situation that you dont talk to me everyday anymore,
careless and dont say Happy Birthday to me.
I still do say HBD to you though. Life is so unfair.

Although I know that you dont feel the way i do. I still expect smething
from you. and did u know it's cuz of your random attitude?

first time 

December 14 [Wed], 2005, 17:45
okay, this is my first time of doin yaplog wo tellin my friends. I thought it's better and fun cuz i can write wutever i want...about guys and all the shit. If they know, it's hard to write wut i really wanna say in here.
It's gonna be realy random diary, but try my best.

If there is such a thing like love, wut is it like?
I think there are too many ways to show the love but the moment that you feel like you love someone or loved in return is really short.
like 10mints? cuz ppl's mind changes everyday.
Let's say this couple were together for like 5yrs. But the time that they felt love doesnt even reach to 24 hours. People always have a secret and have ur own thinking. so it is really short to see the Love. more than that, it's hard to see the LOVE.
but becuase Love is such a beautiful thing, people respect that, envy that, and want it so bad. Nothing can feel better than love.

But the Q is: does it make you happy even though ur love was short?
does it make you happy even though u see that person loved
another?
is that enough for you to just know that you were loved
at the moment?
can you hold that memory and feel happy? is that enough?

For me, it takes such a long time. at least it took for 4 yrs for me.
P R
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