I have a dream 

2006年05月09日(火) 13時28分
Almost everyday a new idea pops up to me.

Today I have decided to stop applying to modeling agencies. I finally realized that it's a waste of time pursuing it. NOT that I lose faith in myself but that I know I am not ready. Of the several feedback from differen modeling agencies around the world, either I am not suitable for their market or that they cannot be of any help to me despite initial interest because I am in an awkward location ie Pittsburgh shit-hole. So I have devised a new plan for myself! It is long and involves a lot of painful decision. But I will not be afraid.

I read Teri Hatcher's Burnt Toast the other day in Barnes and Nobles. She mentioned a very good analogy of people's outlook on making decision and its relation to becoming successful. It occured to me that I am the kind of ppl that, even though better than most, would quickly get off the mountain (or not go up at all due to inherent laziness) and climbed back down after taking in the view because jumping, is too alarming a thing for me to do. You know what, I have decided to change. I want to be the person that jumps! Because this magical thing called bravado is a field that would attracts all the positive energy in the universe. Sounds so mythical, isn't it.

I guess my short-lived over-enthusiasm to be a model AND a song-writter, a novelist, a fashion designer assistant, a website host earning big buck among other things including chemical engineer, are conducive to my personal growth and success. I really believe it. It makes my goal clearer and clearer to me each and everytime I tried something that looks completely out of the blue to other ppl. That's why I keep trying. I hate to just sit here and do nothing. At least my wimps let me learn about different industries and the various face of myself.

My First Yaplog Entry! 

2005年12月29日(木) 13時00分
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