March 09 [Wed], 2005, 9:30
I woke up earlier than usual, having a big desire of getting out of the house. I haven't felt like this in a long time. Got out of bed, changed, left the house and out to the beach. It's been ages since I've been to the beach in the morning. Walked through the sand, took my shoes off and walked towards the water. The music streaming through my earphones and the gentle but loud waves in the background helped my mind go into relax mode. I kept on walking down the beach, having no plan in my head. My feet touched the cool water when the waves brushed against my leg. Big waves, small waves. I didn't know what I was feeling. Just a big blank space in my chest. Something I haven't felt in ages. Suddenly, my body felt light. It was as if the waves swept away all the dark and negative substances in me. I saw people around me but I felt like I was the only one there. So relaxing, so different, something I've been wanting a long time. Just as the biggest wave hit me, I stopped, turned around, started walking back the way I came from. My foot steps were slowly washed away to sea. I felt like running into the big ocean. Of course I couldn't as I don't know how to swim. Slowely back the steps I came from, back to the car, back home. The empty feeling inside, gradually filling up with emotions, which I can't explain.