April 19 [Sun], 2015, 19:28
May be I just should try not to be loved. May be 'my want' is too much. If they don't care about me, that's better than they feel I'm annoying.?

I wish I wish I wish. How hard I wish, it's never gonna happen. I wanna run away.?

I don't know what kind of person i am. I just hate my self .

?I am not attractive to them even I had gone to the other country for 2 years. I thought it was long enough to get their attention to me, but it wasn't. It won't. Never ever ever.

I am not strong, smart or kind. I am just like... just like the person people hate. I envy a lot of friends. I envy so much that I pretend like I don't care about them because I want think I am the one who wins the life. But I know that is not true. I know that ?I am jerous a lot. I am an UGLY person.?

See? That's why they don't like me.

It's all my fault. It's not because of them, it's because of me. Because they love my brother and sisters! Because brother and sisters are normal and not make them annoying! It's because of me! I am sad.?

Iam sad because I know it's all my fault but I don't know how to fix it. Even I am being very very very careful not to be annoying them, I make mistakes then I see their faces and they say "Ah, yeah."?
To me, it's almost sounds like, 'I don't want to talk with you because your story is really boring and make no sense to me. So no more talking.'

Hmm. I want to talk a lot of things with them for hours! But may be I should not.?

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