Meeting my friend 

November 11 [Sun], 2007, 0:13
I met my close friend 2 days back. She complaint to me that she was not secured about her current job. The sub-prime saga has affected her current job and she might lose job anytime. I don't really know how to console her since I was not in such situation before.

But one thing I really felt agitated was that she kept correcting my pronunciation on certain words. Well... ok.... I mean my English is not as good as her... and she could point out to me nicely instead of telling me in agitated tone. There is nothing to be agitated!

When I told her about the Genting trip, she once again impatiently told me that instead of pronouncing it as "Gen-Ting", it should be pronounced as "Gurn-ting" which is the Malay pronunciation. For god sake, how would I know the Malay pronunciation if I have not studied Malay. And the almost the entire Singapore population pronounced it as "Gen-ting".

Another thing. She told me the Citigroup and UBS made loss. Ok. But when I told her I did not know about it, she said, "you mean you don't know? You are supposed to know!" Hello?!?! I am a banker. Why am I supposed to know? I really wanted to ask her if she knew that the Sembcorp marine had been audited by EY.


June 06 [Tue], 2006, 10:30
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Sometimes it is not about the forest, it is to find the right tree 

May 18 [Thu], 2006, 12:38
My relatives, including my ma, and friends think that I am very blind in my relationship. Occasionally, they will give me a gentle reminder on how big the FOREST is and should set my eyes on the FOREST.

Of course, I have to appreciate all their opinions given to me. After all, it is for my own good. However, the forest does not really matter for me when I feel I am with the right tree. The tree probably is not as healthy, not as strong, not as green and not as big as some others, but the tree is special and unique to me. And most importantly, it is the very first tree that I am willing to open up myself to with least pretention and we have the same frequency. Who can be so sure if I give up on this tree, I am able to find the right tree? I have been searching for the right tree for so many years before I met this tree, how long would I have to wait for another Right Tree to appear and be sure that it is a Righter Tree than this current tree?

Let the fate to decide which tree should I lie upon. If the current tree is not so strong, I will fertilise it. If it is ill, I will cure it. If it is not green enough, I may even use a paint brush to paint the leaves green.

HK trip 

May 18 [Thu], 2006, 12:29
I won't say the HK trip is exactly enjoyable. Probably it is where my homeland is. Another thing is the burden that I have to bear. I always feel there is a burden on me. I can't tell exactly what the burden is. It is sort of like a mix of everything. I don't dare to tell Mr Adam. Because he may think that I am just a paranoid.

Initially I don't really want to tell my relatives on my return. However, I did not succumb to the thought as I felt it was not nice not to tell them. However, I knew that their enthusiasm eventually would become a nuisance to me. Since I am not a good Miss No, things will just hang in the air and at the end, I will be misunderstood. And I was misunderstood.

I am really sick of all these. Trying to please people by portraiting myself as a nice warm girl when deep down, I am just a lazy freak and don't really bother a lot of things.


May 18 [Thu], 2006, 12:19
Trust is something that has never been an easy thing for me. Trusting a person means you have to put down all the barriers and expose your most inner self. And usually, it will be the most vulnerable.

To a paranoid, trust is indeed a difficult thing. No matter how much you assure yourself, the paranoid bugs will always get to your nerve and you will start imagining thousands of POSSIBLE circumstances. Millions of questions will flash all in a second including the question on whether to trust or not to trust.

I have to say, that's woman. When the woman indeeds falls in love deeply, she will be more and more paranoid. So don't ask a woman why she is so paranoid, the answer is just simply that she loves you too much.

Debate on Political Issues 

April 28 [Fri], 2006, 13:22
It is kind of interesting to debate over some political issues around the world with Americans, Europeans and Canadians. They all have different views. However, Europeans seem to be against Americans.

Well... It seems in general, Americans tend to think people around the world hate/evious of them or do not like them (from Americans). I tend to agree only to certain extent. Probably, the resentment is stronger among muslim countries. But it is not surprising that with increasing globalisation, dominated with some strong american brands, coupled with political interference to certain countries by Americans, people are unhappy with the Americans. Worst, people tend to associate American government with the Americans.

However, all the westermers, excluding a Danish, have this "yellow horror" with regard to the rising power of China. They made comments that Chinese is ambitious, evident by Chinese students top their schools. Haha... I think they are too terrored to the extent that they neglected the hardworking culture of Chinese. Westerners tend to more relaxed and enjoyed. Chinese are hardworking, comparatively speaking. Of course, these are general statements.

I don't know why Europeans tend to proud of their rich history. Of course rich history is a good thing to the country, but it does not make any country more superior or inferior. History is for us to learn mistakes and good things, but not a mean to diminish a country which is less history-rich.

Another issue that we debated about was Palestine vs Israel. Again, a whole lot of history was dig to judge who is right or who is wrong. Ultimately there is no conclusion. Again, history is for us to learn not for us to hold grudges upon. No matter what, violence is the last resort. Making peace is still the most important. And this is to solve the current situation.

Self Esteem Danger 

April 04 [Tue], 2006, 18:07
Maintaining a blog, keeping it alive and active is not really an easy task, given my life has not been a very colourful sort. I just finished discussing sm project and AC said it's very "sian" because we still had to do such primary school level project. I completely agree and I can feel the energy within me has been leaking away bit by bit. I don't really want to scrutinize whatever my team mate says, I don' really bother to look at our report and just hope that we can get a B of it.

A few months later, I will be graduated from University, and probably leave school forever and enter into a new page of life. I felt quite discouraged with the degree I expected to get. I don't know. Second lower or just merit... I don't even feel like attending the ceremony....

Anyway, I always feel happy with Mr Adam's accompany. I am pretty surprised with the way he felt about the programme on Singapore divorce rate. I was surprised that he actually acknowledges communication as the most important way maintain relationship. And given the rate of divorce, it deters me indeed. Nobody can ever sure how long the relationship will work. Nobody can ensure that he or she can commit to his or her partners and if that's the case, what is the meaning of marriage? Getting married does not make sense at all.

That's Amazing 

March 26 [Sun], 2006, 12:39
For the past few days, I have been brainstorming on my business idea on online sales of clothings. I really feel the energies flowing into me and I managed to get good opinions and necessary contacts from different people. This makes me realise how powerful contacts/networking is!

I have quarreled with my sisters for the past few days because I said she's fake. That silly stubborn girl practically ignored me and did not talk to me. Well, I might have used strong words to accuse her, but I still think it is no point to argue or even scold an elderly who has alzheimers' disease. Use another way, sometimes have to tell a white lie, to convince or to instruct the elderly. Making the elderly emotionally unhappy is as bad as having a poor health.

Anyway, why she was so angry was because she felt that I had accused her while she had improved her temper for "a few days". Actually, I won't say it is an accuse since it's true that she didn't really control her temper before that "few days" and how on earth would I notice her change for that "few days" and concluded that she was no longer the person before that "few days"?

Still I appologised to her.

A week 

March 17 [Fri], 2006, 10:06
Finally, the FYP was over! Though it's a good experience, I don't think I would wanna go through it again.

"Risk" does not seem to be my cup of tea. Well... probably I am not a strategist. The game is fun and you can play it for whole day. But usually, I would wiped out after 1 hour of the game, at most.

Talking about the day my friend and I played risk. Mr Adam stood up for me when my troop was about to die. He also sent me back by taxi, probably knowing my mum was mad at me. All these were really warming.

However, my paranoid nature has never left me alone for too long and I am sensitive enough to detect subtle change of his behaviour. When one does not pay attention or not looking at you when you are talking, does that mean he or she is no longer interested in you/no longer enjoyed the conversation? No idea.

My friend who took the same spanish class with me got "poor" for her assignment. The teacher has told us that she only had 3 grades for assignment which are "bien", "muy bien" and finally "excellente". But my friend actually got poor. Well... it seems like my friend has knives all over her body but none of them are sharp.

I never had a dream come true 

February 27 [Mon], 2006, 13:10
After spending a few days to play the simulation competition and throwing all my enthusiam into it in the hope to get a cash prize, the result was that we didn't even get into top 3.

Dream break. Heart-broken.

I don't even check out the result... too disappointed.
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