March 22 [Mon], 2010, 21:45
I am not really busy, I guess.
actually what I have to do and what I want to do are limited.

I may regret my behaving like that
but I am not such a courageous girl to improve it
I am afraid

In fact I want to forget to learn and spend my time styling my hair, making up my face, loving gentle boy, chatting with friends...
In fact I don't want to recognize what really is.

I can't solve my problem unless I make some device.

As I pretend and try to hide myself, I feel extraordinarily ill ...
What's important is not pretending, I know.
It is that I live as I like, but in the circle of people...
The more I feel something like duty, the more ill I feel

I can't do two things at the same time.
Anyway is it okay for me to enjoy my life, this time?

Both learning and playing should be able to be done.
I want to be such a girl+*

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