12月

December 03 [Thu], 2009, 11:41
約1ヶ月放置してましたね(´・ω・`) すみません・・・;

最近仕事やめようか本気で悩んでます(´;ω;`)
辞めるべきではないって言うのは理解してますが・・・正社員だし。
自分のやりたいこと(保育)とは程遠い職場に就きまして、ちょっと後悔してる(´;ω;`)

幸い英語を使う仕事だから、まだ「今すぐ辞めたい」ってわけではないけれど・・・。

Is it too much to ask for?

November 05 [Thu], 2009, 23:01
This is very frustrating. ugh.

I am stressed out, because every single person i talk to is telling me to come back to Canada ASAP. Do they know how badly i would like want to do that?

I am stressed out, because no one over there is trying to understand how important this is for me to stay in japan. Making money and paying mother back is not as important as myself staying here. I am staying here because i want mother to understand how important my bf is to me, even we are not together at this time. I am here because i want mother to celebrate us when we get married. If i go back to Canada right now without her understanding, she will totally disown me, and i would lose my first family/home that i had grown up with.

I am stressed out, because no one over there is trying to support me. All they say to me is "have him pay for some of your debt and come back." She does expect me to pay everything back before i go back to Canada, but like i said, paying isn't as important. Do they think i am here, because i am forced to be here? Sure, I WAS forced to be here, but I enjoy my life now. I like being in Japan. I enjoy my job. Of course, sometimes, I wish i worked with children, and spoke English at same time.

I am stressed out, because everyone assume that my bf and I will break up soon, but never says it to our face. You guys can assume as much as you want, i don't care because it's not my problem. But I am telling you, I am not planning to break up with him at all. I don't know about him, but I hope he doesn't, either.

I am stressed out, because everyone says "aw, it must be so hard, how would you do that? i could never do something like that.." when i tell them i am in japan and he's in Canada. yes, it is hard, but BELIEVE IT OR NOT, I LIKE IT! Sure, it must be hard for him. I miss him so much everyday and i sometimes cry in my sleep. I don't deny that, but i like it. It makes me more appreciate to be with him. It makes me think more about how lucky i am to be with him. It makes me understand how important he is to me and how much i need him. After all, it makes me love him way more. It makes me believe in the true love, that i never ever believed in.

...I am not asking anyone to understand this. I am not even asking him to understand this either. But I just wanted to spit it out.

I know he probably does understand it, but it is hard to do nothing but wait. So he offers every single ideas that he has on his mind. But sweetheart, please, stop offering these and be ready to have me in 2-3years. i will be there. for sure. So save up some money and be ready to live with me in those years. i want a red cute house like my parent's house in Ohio:) oh, and i want the house by the lake like house in the notebook. Oh and another thing, i want Stirling, the cat, so steal him for me! Hehe. ..i hope this isn't too much to ask for:)

(´`)

October 24 [Sat], 2009, 22:05
最近ウチの彼氏が冷たーいよー(´;ω;`)
最近まったく話しかけてくれなくなった(´`)

もー好かれてないのだろうか・・・(;д;`)
とか、そんなことをどうしても考えてしまう(´`)

「そんな彼なら捨てちゃえば?」の映画を2回見てるし
(1度目は映画館、2度目は飛行機の機内で・・・)
原作(He's just not that into you)も持ってるし、
その次の作品(It's called a breakup because it's broken)も持ってるから、
それと、自分らの関係を、どーしても比べてしまう(´・ω・`)

ちゃんと好かれてるし、プロポーズもされてるのにね(´`)
でもすごくちょっとした事で不安になってしまう・・・(。・ε・`。)
信じてるはずなのに、可笑しいね(´`) ごめんね、sweetheart..




よし、これからしばらくはこっちから話しかけるのはやめよう(´・ω・`)
駆け引きあんまり上手くないけど・・・毎日話しかけるのはよろしくないのかも(´`)
にょーん(´・ω・`)

むー( ´・ω・)
P R
プロフィール
  • プロフィール画像
  • アイコン画像 ニックネーム:sweets
  • アイコン画像 性別:女性
  • アイコン画像 誕生日:10月16日
  • アイコン画像 血液型:AB型
  • アイコン画像 職業:フリーター
読者になる
5年間のCanada留学を終え、彼氏をCanadaに残してきたSweetsです(´`)
今はホテルでお金稼いで、そのうちCanadaに帰りたいと思っています♪
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