March 25 [Wed], 2009, 12:26
I have an endless list of things I have and want to do. Some of them are interchangeable to each other. A lot of task I have to do are for school and these don’t appeal to me as much as those things I want to do. Surprisingly, many things I want to do require a pencil and paper. I want to learn more. I want to gain more knowledge of things that interest me and are required of being who I am. My English is still terrible even though I have been in this country for over nine years. I may be able to have great conversations with people; however, I struggle putting my thoughts on a piece of paper. I want to build the basic foundation that I was supposed to build years ago. I want to learn Spanish. I want to talk to all my friends in their language. I want to learn Japanese. My education in Japanese has left me since I left my country nine years ago. I find myself struggling to express my feelings and emotions to my parents and friends. I even screwed up a relationship because I was not confident in myself. This is not limited to languages; I want to learn and experience everything that this world offers us. My insecurity has taken over and it’s time for a change. I am committed to accomplish everything that I want to do to make myself happier. So, as a start, I decided to write everything down. Since I struggle putting my thoughts into words, I decided to write everything I see and feel that strikes me. I am still worried because there is so much I need to work on, and I am not sure if I can make it through, but I decided to do my best.