014 

January 06 [Sun], 2008, 22:18
I decided to move my blog completely to ameblo, because I don`t have time to update 2 blogs..
from now on I use this site only to change the size of the photos,

anyway, the new blog is: http://ameblo.jp/blog-shoubi

013 

December 21 [Fri], 2007, 18:42
aaww, christmas holidays are here finally
on monday will be my 15th christmas, and always there has been very much snow on winter..
but now it`s already 21th of december, and there isn`t snow at all....
after all this is Finland, and usually Finland is connected to Santa claus, and nature (including the snow)
thanks to the climate change, we may have to meet "the black christmas" here, for the first time.

People have been talking a lot about the climate change, but now is really time to do something to the troubles that we already know exist. all this time I haven`t been thinking about it, but now I can see the difference everyday, and it is making me worried, and I`m sure that I`m not the only one.


(pic:Vantaa`s december..)

012 

December 18 [Tue], 2007, 9:00
..at school again...
first our teacher was late and then she was just smiling and told us that we don`t have to do anything if we don`t want..-_-; so now I have time to do my homework..
some kind of energy-chart or whatever it is..
anyway, this day will be quite easy;
only 5 hours because of the teachers` conference \(^-^)/
I just wanted to stay in bed...and sleep all day...
yesterday I was shoppipng and now I`m sure that Finland isn`t a safe place anymore because now Helsinki and Vantaa are full of tourists who move on in flocks..-_-;
it doesn`t sound very bad but really, if you were listening your mp3 player
and walking peacefully and then there is somekind of noise coming behind you, u turn around and there they are, the tourists with reindeer-shirts and other finland stuff, and they`re moving fast when they aren`t staring at something (like a bus stop) or shopping.
I wonder what it`s like in Rovaniemi now...I was there in november and even
then there were tourists.

anyway, now this entry is full of complaining about tourists, but I`m not telling that I don´t like them or anything, actually, it is nice to meet people from another countries and it is nice to try if I can still speak some language well enough..
currently I`m able to speak finnish,swedish,english,french and a bit japanese, and in Finland I use only finnish,swedish and maybe sometimes english..so it is nice to "update" my brains sometimes (^-^)

011 

December 13 [Thu], 2007, 22:48
I was just a minute ago having a very short conversation with I guy I used to know...I used to treat him as a friend but things changed.
He really managed to hurt me sometimes....but I was open with him and I felt so free...
Even I was surprised because of that, because then it seemed like I was an open person, but still, no one really knew me because I told nothing about myself. There were just meaningless words..people saw me as a very bright person who had a perfect life..and I didn`t really care.
Last time, when I treated that guy as a friend was almost 2 years ago,

so if you ever read this blog, I just want to say that I am sorry.
I just never get the power to talk to you again...like to a friend...
ごめんなさい。

010 

December 12 [Wed], 2007, 19:30
I was fighting with my computer again and finally I can see all comments \(^-^)/ damn..it disturbed me for a long time when I just saw that there were comments somewhere but I couldn`t read them -_-;
anyway, thanks for the comments, I`ll try to read and answer as fast as I can, in future.^__^

009 

December 12 [Wed], 2007, 17:47
I don`t know if I`m tired, annoyed or what...
- My brother is complaining about everything.
- My "friends" are yelling all the time,..(they call it talking)
- My grandparents want me to become a nurse or to do something else "women`s job" because "women are nothing".

and once again I`m a bit depressed but I think I`ll get over it..

I just realized that I`ve written to this blog much information that even my "friends" don`t know...it is quite weird..o_o..but it just proves that I don`t like to tell them about my problems.
but after all I don`t even talk much with them..only when I have a good reason to do so.

008 

December 10 [Mon], 2007, 22:15

Jyaa~~ I`m so damn tired again, my brother is throwing up and there are many other things that are bothering me..
last few months have been hard..
I guess it was september when my friends started to use drugs..-_-;
they tried to get me into it too but I just tried ignore them.
I guess I was the only one who knew about that...but then the other one of them became too annoying...she changed so much in a short time. she was just talking about herself all the time. every word was about what she wanted, how she felt like and so on... it made me so annoyed...I could only be and try to ignore her as well as I could but I just couldn`t take it any longer.. she might act like that because she doesn`t get any attention at home or kind of attention that she wants to get.
anyway, she couldn`t be alone...she even admitted it...
she was trying to have as many people around her as possible.
only because she didn`t want to be alone, and she still does that.
then I just decided to "retire".
actually I didn`t do anything until she exploded...

we were practising karate, and only because I wasn`t her pair then, she started to hiss at me "why you hate me so much?!"
it was weird because I hadn`t said anything to her...but then I was completely sure that I didn`t want to be one of her "dogs" anymore...
next day, she didn`t speak a word to me, so I was happy of course and didn`t speak to her as well, because I had nothing to say. but I wasn`t rude to her, I was careful with that.
I just didn`t communicate with her. that`s all.
and in the evening, the other drug-dude told me that the one I was fighting with, was "so confused" and "she didn`t understand why I treated her in that way"....(-_-);
she always makes herself a victim if she doesn`t like the situation.
and then it continued like that...sometimes she tried to create a conversation but it ended because I answered with a word or two...I just didn`t want to let her use me again...it hurted too much.
I tried to make her understand that is she just lets it be, everything would be fine, because she still had the other "dogs".
and finally she gave up.
but then her and the other dude`s parents found out about the drugs..of course they blamed me because I was the only one who knew..
but it was my dad..he is a police so he has seen many drug users because of his work and usually he recognises if he sees a person like that...and it was easy because the other girl is living in a same rowhouse.and of course he told about that to their parents..after all they were just 13 and 14 years old..
all that is hard because they were my only real friends...other people were just hanging around me...no one else knew so much about me as they knew..now it feels like even I don`t know myself.

that has been causing me a lot of stress, so now you know why I might be tired and annoyed sometimes...I`m sorry for that..

007 

December 08 [Sat], 2007, 14:30
10 minutes ago I was just (half-)watching TV and then I realized that Dir en grey`s Toshiya-sama and Die-sama are in front of me!(on TV of course..)
then I just jumped closer to TV and stared at the screen..I`m not sure if I was breathing but damn..it was the interview...
after that I started to giggle weirdly because I met them personally 2007.11.06 when they were in Finland, and I was the only fangirl there (I won`t tell where, it is a secret;b) and damn....I was over 20 minutes with them...maybe 35 minutes..and I got their signatures \(^-^)/ ..I even had an extremely normal conversation with them O_O
and thanks to Nora-san, I didn`t have to use japanese much.
it was good because my japanese is still quite limited, our communication troubles made even Diru-guys and other staff laugh...including me of course..
I don`t think it was clever conversation when I was speaking japanese to the weird dude and that weird dude was speaking english to me...and his english sucked just as much as my japanese...maybe it was even harder to understand -_-;
anyway, everything went very well and I can die happy ^__^
actually I can`t....first I really need to meet Ayabie guys...I had a chance to meet them personally, but well...many things happened there....and there weren`t other fangirls at all! that bothered me for weeks...

006 

December 06 [Thu], 2007, 21:07
today is 90th independence day,,
next is christmas and then new year..a year feels so short

005 

December 06 [Thu], 2007, 14:00
waaii~h I just woke up..it seems like I slept about 13 hours O_O
..strange..
and our school is still there..it was weird to see so many polices there

anyway, the one who threated to blow it up, may get 2 years imprisonment..-_-;
P R
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