may's yayy <3 <3 

May 30 [Fri], 2008, 23:59
spent night at may's. writing this dairy on June 1st, stupid girl lol
that was like super funn night i've ever hadd lol we kept being awake till 5 am. that was crazyy =)) we were just too excited to sleep. we just kept talking about boys and sex lol
may is the only friend that i actually can talk about that much details =)) lol love her too muchh <3 <3 and i believe im the only friend of hers that she actually can talk that much stuff lol that was funny that she actually owns those kind of toys lmao
i was soo happy that she told me that she's been said cooper has been so selfish to another girlfriends, by luc. coz he's never been selfish to me. i mean,, im being selfish sometimes tho lol i've kinda thought cooper just wanna fuck me. but may kept saying he really loves me. whenever i talk stories about him. i felt like he really does. well,, i hope. also, i was soo happy that she actually has asked around people about cooper coz she was soo worried about me. thats kinda funny tho. but she's like my best friend ever =))) my girll <3 <3

i love leaha too. she was like super funny when she came to may's room and started talking about her sun burned. she's too funny. i love herr =)) she put may's massage machine on her boopy and started saying " ah.. ahh.. " haha that was too funny. hope she'll keep going out with tyler <3 <3

that was a very very good time to talk soo many things about may and listen story about may and her boyfriend with smoking. smoking isnt really good think but it sometimes make us feeling relax and open mind =))
what i was surprised is, i didnt felt even better after i smoked even tho i've quit for almost already 2 years.

cooper just sent me text to say good night stupid asshole lol

awwww =(( essay 

May 26 [Mon], 2008, 10:18
she noticed.. teacher's are like monsters. mrs stairs noticed that i kinda copied from a site. well, its okay. all i had to do is put the name and URL of the website and use more my words. well, but that was actually shocking.. =((

history.. gosh.. i got 15 percent on my essay.. im failing it. im definitely failing it... =((

fine art class is no funn anymore everyone has changed. i've had so many friends and that was really funn. but honestly, i miss adrianna too much and,, yea i may be changed. sadd..

in theater arts class, we started presenting our monologue. well, yea i was extremely nervous.. and i wasnt ready yett. well, im glad that i didnt have to go today =)) lol

went cooper's after school. neww dott =) he's too cute =) and it's kinda funny that he likes girls more than guys. well, he's just too cute. ugly cute <3 lol

i went home earlier and had supper with andre. wanted to stay at cooper's more tho, honestly. but i couldnt. we've been so busy lately, especially cooper. sadd =((

love you brother<3 

May 25 [Sun], 2008, 23:59
last night, after midnight. me and andre started talking. then, well, we finally went to bed at after 3. awesome eh? lol me and andre are soo tight i guess.
i was actually soo happy that i actually could talk about myrium with him. that have been bothering between me and andre for a long time, i guess. that was nice to talk with him about her. and it was good to know that he actually dislikes her now. feel soo much better. it's so weird that me and andre always talk about sex pretty seriously. i can talk what im worried what i need to know without being embarrassed. i love him a lot.

during day time, i started working on the essay at 11. coz i woke up at like 10. then i finally finished at 9 pm.. good jobb me =)) lol
i kinda copied a website actually. coz that was really hard. but i think i did pretty good jobb=)) yayy <3 <3

miss cooper too much. i havent chilled with him for 4 days today. this is seriously badd....

stupid dayy 

May 24 [Sat], 2008, 23:59
i was suppose to working on my stupid essay. well, i tryed.. i've told everyone that i was. well, but it is a diary. im just gonna write a truth. the truth is,, i wasnt. i tryed. but i just kept playing on the computer.. i know, im so stupid and regret a lot=(( i just couldnt help.. well, unfortunately, that's all what i did.

weird day 

May 23 [Fri], 2008, 23:59
we had a meeting for exchange student. well, basically we talked what the school need more for exchange student coming next year. well, that actually was boring. but i was glad that i actually could miss a whole 2nd period and 50 minutes of 3rd period =)) yayy=))

then assembly.. i dont even wanna remind it.. lol whyy is he soo weird??lol the assembly was for some important day for natives. well, i actually fell asleep and dont remember most of things tho. but at the last,, cooper was dancing in the front. i wanted to run away. well, soo many people were dancing but i would say he was the weirdest lol that was super embarrassing...=(( lol i actually screamed like " why is he soo weird!!" lol
well, that was funny tho. and thats what nice about him, i know.

after school. cleaned my room soo quickly and chilled with Chantele<3<3
she's like my sunshine. i love her a lot.
we just kept talking and eating snacks lol but yea, that was funn =))
well,, i knew so many things like rosara is a bitch, rossco and rosara's parents are both deaf, and rossco is a badd guyy lol
hope she'll get some time to see the car guyy again.. its not good at all to have strict mommy=(( i feel sorry for her. they shouldnt decide whether she sees a guy or not.

anyways,, it was a weird day. im glad we didnt have the theater arts class after the assembly.. i dont think i would be able to look at cooper.. i was too embarrassed lol

i love the silly guy a lot =)) 

May 22 [Thu], 2008, 20:50
first of all, Dustin's new girlfriend sucks! lol oh no, she might be a nice girl. she's just.. she looks just like a ratt=(( lol
that actually make me sadd tho. im pretty sure that i am much prettier than she is! and i wanted him a lot!! well, im happy with cooper now tho. but still.

went cooper's right after school today=)) love getting on his car =P it's soo funny that the car is almost broken lol too old and too ugly lmao just cannot stopp laughing =))
had a supper at cooper's =))) yayy =) that actually was awkward.. wish i could speak better english.. =(( but i love his daddy. he's like super talkative like he is.
well, i didnt really have special time there. but im just glad that i could spend time with him=)) he's been so busy lately so.. i dont wanna feel lonely anymore.

aweee.. i have too much things to do. im actually suppose to start working on my homework. i just dont feel like it. but i have to. just get myself up soon.

mama called me last night and started talking about university again. ahh,, i dont wanna think about that. i didnt think 10 months are this short =((
dont wanna think about thee entrance exams...

andre told me that he couldnt change his plane. which is too sadd. he told me that he'll try again tho. but no one knows if something's gonna change.. that actually was my first time that i actually see him being sadd.
well, im just not gonna say anything about that. coz it's too early to give up. and a brother is a brother no matter what, for ever =))

told may what i feel. she told me honestly. im glad that i was a best friend of hers and she's a best friend of mine =)) we love each other more noww =)) but she's not coming school tomorrow coz she doesnt feel good today. which sucks =((

cooper called and told me that he'll call me after scooby doo is over. then he just called me=) well, he told me that he just wanted to hear my voice before he goes to bedd. how sweet of him. well, but i dunno if i felt same way as he did.. lol i was happy to be said stuff like that tho=))

sleepy but have to start my stupid hw. was suppose to be started much earlier stupid me.. =(((

had a bad day 

May 21 [Wed], 2008, 18:28
a bit early for writing a diary. but i just feel like it.
in the morning, i slept in. woke up at 7:53, couldnt get a ride coz non of my friend had their car with them. i texted cooper, but he got the text during the first period which is too late and didnt work at all=(( lol
so i walked school in that rain. it wasnt raining that hard tho. but still put me into a badd mood. moreover, i slipped on the way.

i just cannot help feeling like being lonely today, somewhy. i feel like no one cares about me, and no one listens me. of course that isnt true and that is like super stupid thought. nothing is different from yesterday.
so just trying to be happier=))
it may be because i miss andriana too much. it may be because i couldnt see cooper today. it may be because may didnt seem right today. it may be because i have too much things to do. it may be because he sounds like he got a girlfriend...
it was just a badd day. i'll like tomorrow. that's what gordon said me =) he's right.
just gonna get my homework done and smile tomorrow =))

cooper sent me text like " im so sorry for being to busy these days." i think that was kinda sweet. sounds like he cares about me alot. he actually does. i feel like he does at least.
i still dunno why he likes me,why he treats me so well, and why he keeps loving me. he may just want to have a sex. well, doesnt have to be me, though =((
well, the fact that he has been sitting on girls for so many times is not acceptable, actually. coz the way he sat on other girls is pretty much same way as the way he tried to get me. well, maybe i was too easy to get. yea, i actually was. well, but who cares now? it doesnt matter for now.
sometimes, i sometimes really wanna see him, touch him, and kiss him. that's all what i need to feel, isnt it?
saying cooper is fuckin ugly( which actually is true lol) weird, nerd and so on, they just make me feeling like he's mine.
in the theater arts class without cooper, i'd been thinking about him. maybe im in love =)

dustin seems like he got a girlfriend. he's msn status showed stuff like that. well, feeling sad is another side of me. i just hope he'll keep being a good friend of mine. coz obviously i was sitting on him just before i started going out with cooper. i mean, there's soo many reasons for him stopp being friend of mine.
im sometimes really disappointed because of how sly i am. i still wanna keep being touch with the guy that i wanted to have before. i might still do want. me myself dont even know. he's just.... so hott.. lol
i just really like his face, the things he talks, hight, voice, and everything. they're just what i've wanted for a long time.
but the thing is, being with cooper is happy enough. such a bitch, arent i? lol

me and yuri talked normally today. i believe she's fine now. well, she might be trying to be fine. cannot help feeling guilty. well, but better than yesterday ^^ so it's all good =))

i just painted my nail. i bit my thumbs nails.. my nails are growing these days. they're being better than before. but i bit my thumbs nails.. i messed everything up. so i just repaint my nails and keep it not to be bitten.. lol
i wonder why i bite my nails. i just cant help =(( well, hope it'll grow pretty.
thumbs nails are really short tho... lol

38days left. mann stopp counting.
what ive done during this program are too few and too small. i just cannot believe that it'll finish soon and cannot help regretting. me sucks.

i really need to have some time to cuddle with cooper i guess. im being so negative. which isnt like myself.

just hoping tomorrow will be a better day =))

keep loving myself

culture shock! 

May 20 [Tue], 2008, 23:59
i got my cell phone back today! yayy =)) i will never forget my baby anywhere anymore!! ..the thing is, my baby showed that i havent got any text. but actually there were like 5 text that i havent read yett in inbox. which obviously means cooper read my text. i mean, that actually is like seriously bigg dead for me and terribly badd thing. untruthful.
but i talked with andre then he told me that he doesnt understand why i would make it such a bigg deal about this. his thought is, im a girlfriend of cooper's and i left my cell phone at his place, so of course he would read my text. that's what he thinks. what andre tells me is pretty much right, usually. so it may be a part of the culture. just me japanese cannot really understand. also he told me that i always bring too much dramas. yea, sure. i actually do bring too much dramas all the time, i know it. i just cannot help doing it lol but was that a one of the dramas??
arent text messages really personal things? they could have been, couldnt they? coz my friends of course think that they would be read by only me. that's not my privacy. my friends' privacy. that's what make it bigg deal.
well, im so sadd that i cannot trust him with my cell phone anymore. i might should talk to him about that. but im kinda scared to get into badd mood with him. because we are only for this short term and all i want is just keep being with him to be happy, to smile. i mean, i dont really know if i need to know. to really understand him and to make him really understand me isnt easy, and takes a long time. also gets some risks. i mean that actually is a bigg deal for me. but this is also true that im in love with him and i wish i could trust him from the bottom of my heart.
i might be gonna talk to him tomorrow. when leah told me that he does druggs and stuff, and i was so worried, i asked him and he told me honestly. that helped a lot about what i feel and stuff. also, he was pleased that i asked himself. that actually was a real right decision, i guess. so i might be gonna talk to him tomorrow.

in the theater arts class, i wore yukata and talked in japanese in a play. that was embarrassing.. lol but im gladd that everyone told me that yukata is pretty. well, of course it is! they're like my favorite clothes in the world. =))
i dont get used to be said " are ya dating with cooper?". it just feels so awkward somewhy.

i hurt yuri today.. =(( that wasnt really bigg deal for me tho. but for her, it was. and i couldve imagined that. of course i could have. i mean, that was just soo mean and stupid. i feel guilty soo badd.. hope she'll be fine for tomorrow =(( i really shouldnt have doen that.

oops.. i didnt do my homework again ..=(( lol i really should tho.. i'll do tomorrow =P lol
i really have to .

yayy blog! =) 

May 19 [Mon], 2008, 17:33
what i just think is,, i shouldve made a blog earlier. this is soo stupid that i havent written a diary yett.. come on myself ha? im in canada.. i really shouldve start doing it earlier. well, i started at least. all i need is keep doing it.

Andre bought a lap top and brought last night..
me and him were like super excited =)) the thing is.. he doesnt even let me touch his lap topp =(( such a jerk!lol what im worried is,, he wont have time to chill with me as much as he did, for sure. coz he'll be able to stay in his room to use computer='(
but i told him not to do that. coz i will be so sadd and lonely.

the hickies that cooper made on my neck are still staying.=(( i just keep putting fandation on themm =(( sucks badd. i kinda like them tho lol well, one of them are too bigg actually,, lol
the sex with him wasnt funn at last.. he's just too sloww. i cannot believe he couldnt even finish even tho i used my mouth and hands both! honeltly i was kinda tired of cooper himself last night. a bit glad that i didnt have my cellphone with me. but the time like now, i just really want him.
what maki told me about cooper wasnt what i really shouldve known..i actually didnt wanna know. but it doesnt really matter for this short term. im having fun with him and being happy. and he likes me. that's all what matters isnt it?

Dustin started talking to me last night, on msn. that actually surprised me and made me soo happy =)) i just honestly felt that i really like the way he talks, and his face. im not the person that can like someone else when i have a boyfriend tho. but he's a nice guy. just not telling anyone that my heart beated last night because of him. secrett =))

what i really thought today is, i love my family especially carol, gordon, and andre. the way carol cares about me, the way grodon tells me things, and the way andre trys to make me happier. that's the perfect things of my days.
when i asked carol if i can spend night at cooper's, she just told me not to get pregnent, and call her no matter what time, if i really wanna go home.
gordon always tells me things like what real friends are, and stuff.
andre always huggs me, and let me sit on his lap when i need loves, and cheers me up when im down. but he doesnt mean he wants to have sex with me or something like that. he just let me into his room and talk. he listens what i feel, what i want, and so on. then he advices. he's the best brother i've ever heard, i think.
isnt that awesome family? i just feel soo many people care about me and stuff.
i just thank them and hope i can do somethings for them before i go back to japan.

i wonder if im going to cooper's tonight to get my cell back.. i hope i will. coz i already miss my cell phone so badd.
  • プロフィール画像
  • アイコン画像 ニックネーム:rinaing
  • アイコン画像 性別:女性
  • アイコン画像 誕生日:1990年12月26日
  • アイコン画像 血液型:A型
  • アイコン画像 現住所:国外
  • アイコン画像 職業:小中高生
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