Parents With

November 06 [Sat], 2010, 15:02
By far, the most difficult task in therapy is to help patients establish a better relationship with their own parents, particularly their mothers. We feel that until some sense of peace and useful rapport is felt with the mother, the patient's own ability to be motherly remains hampered. The patient's recurrent sense of disappointment with the mother, the fear of her, and the intense ambivalence about her make the task seem almost impossible. Only after a strong therapeutic alliance has developed with increased confidence in the therapist, should any attempt be made to lead the patient toward finding the good qualities of the mother. Even then it must be done cautiously and skillfully. Gradually, with luck, a patient can find her own way of maintaining equilibrium during contacts with her mother and even find means of pleasing the mother so as to bring responses of real love and approval. Whatever amount of relationship and new identification can be made with the "good" mother will be directly reflected in the release of the patient's own motherliness ugg boots sale .

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Although protection of the infant is a main goal, direct interest in the infant should be avoided by the therapist, paradoxical as this may seem. Attention should be focused almost exclusively on the parent. The rationale for this lies in the fact that paying attention to the baby leaves the parent back in the old nightmarish feeling of nobody listening to his needs, thereby reinforcing his hopelessness and lack of trust. Probably our most basic tenet in treatment has been to get the parent to look to us to find out how to get his needs filled, rather than to the infant for satisfaction. If this can be accomplished to even a moderate degree, there is less demand on the baby, less parental frustration, and the baby is essentially safe. A clue to this element of safety is the patient phoning between appointments to speak of loneliness, -frustration, and increasing tension, With Parents a turning to the therapist instead of the baby for response.
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