Letters to Alise  

April 08 [Fri], 2011, 5:18
By Aly Tamaki



Dear Alise.

It's been ten years ever since that car accident that left you in a coma state, all this time I've been by your side waiting patiently for you to wake up. Although, I won't deny the fact that at some point of time I lost the will to keep on living without you being by my side, like when you were all lively. However, I never lost the faith that you'll wake up one day, and I still haven't lost it . Because deep down my heart I know that one day you will open you eyes and that day you will feel that everything was just a bad dream, and people that love you so much, and have been waiting for you to wake up all this time, will be happy to see you smile again. Nevertheless, I won't be by your side that day, since I'll ve married soon with Karin, a kind woman that helped me and gave me support in the hardest days of my life when I believed that I couldn't continue any more. She kept me company all this years without asking anything back in exchange, and without wanting or planning to, I fell in love with her. I'm awfully sorry that I sworn you in vain, that I would wait for you till you were awake, but I won't be able to make it come true. Even though, I know that I don't deserve your forgiveness and that I know that you won't ever forgive me for this treason, I want to tell you in this letter how much I loved you ever since the very first time I meet you, and how important you were in my life and what you meant to me.


You might not know this, but the first time I meet you wasn't in our freshman year, it was in the park near your house by the swings. We were nine years old at the time, I remember that you were lying on the ground like a dead body without moving and making sound, but only looking up at the sky, at that time I wonder what were your thoughts. I started looking for you whenever I went to that park with my parents, but I never saw you again up till high school. That's when I saw you and knew that the mysterious girl from my childhood was you. You were sitting on a chair at the back of the room close to the only window that had the best view of outside and the sky. As before you kept looking at the sky with so much passion and same feeling that gave that girl in the park, like she were a bird that only wishes to fly freely in sky instead of being in a cage. Your blue-greenish eyes were are the same as that girl, and your dark-brown hair too.That girl was you without a doubt. I didn't tell you that I had meet you before when I ask you to be my friend because I didn't want to sound creppy or anything. Our freshman year passed with us being good friends, I only wanted to be your friend and nothing else till one day I noticed that my feelings passed from being friend's love to romantic love. I didn't dare to ask you out knowing that you might not feel the same way I felt about you. But when Rod our junior was getting close to you, I saw that if I didn't do anything, he would make you his girlfriend. When I confessed to you in your sixteen year old birthday party, I put my feelings at stake. I was afraind of being rejected by you, but I also knew that I wouldn't get anywhere by keeping quiet about my feelings for you. But when I heard that you gave me a 'Yes' as your reply, I was so happy, truly happy.


In our high school years together I learned so much things about you that I didn't know. And my feelings for you grew as well, there were times when I asked myself if being blessed with your love and company was a mere dream from which I would wake up anytime to wake up and being alone in my room. With the thought of that I didn't want to ever wake up if everything was only a dream since you were so important to me, that I wouldn't be able to go on living without you. Elise, to me you were like your beloved sky, everything.

When I got the call from your parents with the news that you were in a car accident, I felt like my blue and pure sky crumbled into million of pieces making my life dark. Since then time has passed slow yet so fast for everything of us that love you. Even though, time for you froze the day of the accident, when your skin stopped ageing, your hair and body stopped growing, making you a beautiful porcelain doll that its soul left behind. For all this year that you've been sleeping, I always had you as the most important person in my life, though my parents, your parents and friends told me to forget about a girl who might never wake up and to start a new life, I couln't bring myself to do so. I didn't think that I would fall in love again with anyone, till I meet Karin my fiance. I can't saying anything else about her but the fact that the person I'm marrying, is a good person whom I respect so much and whom I'm willing to be with the rest of my life if is possible.


This past years, I wrote a letter to you for each year that passed telling you about everything that happened while you weren't with us. This letter is the tenth letter I wrote for you, and the last one. And when you finally wake up, I'll be seeing you from a far, because I still want to see your smile. Elise, I loved you and you meant to me so much, I will keep you in my heart and mind as my first love with whom I shared wonderful memories that I'll never forget. I don't regret meeting you and having spent time with you.


This is my way to say goodbye to you, to my first love. I thank you for the time you spent with me.


Sincerely, Dannie Nola.

(Sug-Romantic Lyrics) サグ-ロマンチックな歌詞 

December 11 [Sat], 2010, 13:48


凍えるような 冬の残り香 すごくいじわる
触れるたび ずきずきんと 泣きべそかいて 声 震える

そう ほどけぬ糸も ほどけちゃうこと知って 臆病モードロマンチスト
触れるたび ずきずきんと またべそかいて 弱虫ね

ふかくふかく 繋がるのが こわくて 距離を求めた
ちかくちかく 依りたいけど この恋もいつか 過去に

「きみの思い出にあたしは勝てないのかなぁ?」
桜 吹雪 きれいだね 涙笑ってごまかした

思い出に 思い出に 思い出に いいわけ?
今をただ 今をただ 今をただ 愛そう

とくんとくん 胸は高鳴って とまどいかくれんぼ
目をそらす 火照った顔 また熱帯びて もう ずるい

風が 連れてくる 季節に ひとひら 芽吹く
ふわり 薫る 恋の香り 桜色に 頬を染め

巡り会える為の 痛みと 今は 言える
溶け残った 雪は溶けて 新たな四季がほら、、、
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  • アイコン画像 ニックネーム:奈央(*^ -^*)/
  • アイコン画像 血液型:O型
  • アイコン画像 現住所:国外
  • アイコン画像 職業:大学生・大学院生
  • アイコン画像 趣味:
    ・soccer
    ・manga
    ・anime *3*
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