After Frosh 2010 Can't Stop Won't Stop  

September 06 [Mon], 2010, 16:43
New beginning?

I dono. Not sure how to feel.

END OF FIRST YEAR / SUMMER SCHOOL 

May 16 [Sat], 2009, 21:54
HI ANNIE. This post was to keep you focused.

DO SCHOOL STUFF. FIGURE OUT WHAT SECOND YEAR IS IN STORE FOR YOU

ALWAYS HELP OKAASAN & OTAASAN.

KEEP ROOM CLEAN.

MAKE YOUR OWN MONEY. DON'T RELY ON ANYONE.

BE THE BITCH ALWAYS.

ALWAYS BE HAPPY. NEVER DOUBT YOUR WORTH.

Saturday Spring Rolls 

May 31 [Sat], 2008, 15:48
I worked for around 7 weeks now.. just got my 3rd pay cheque. I have 1600 in my bank now yay! I make lots : ) and that makes me happy! I'm so close to 2000 dollars.

I am cooled off now..

usually when I write this I am being irrational and say things that I may not mean later or they are just in the moment

this is in the middle

I dono moobear sounds sad when he's talking to me..

I guess it seems like he is sad that I am not taking care of myself as much as I could....... maybe that I can try harder.. maybe he is disappointed in me...

one of the most worst feelings I can have are when people are disappointed in me. It feels like I am not trying hard enough, it suffocates me and sometimes I can't breathe..

moobear said I am accommodating a lot. he says I should focus on me more than him. I dono why again but the feelings are kicking in. I told him it felt like he was gonna break up with me and he said he wasn't going to. He said things like I should focus on myself and not put so much stress on me. It sounds like he wants me to focus on myself to transition him breaking up with me lighter. But I know the case is that I am really stressed from work.. I wanna be normal.......... =.=" I just wanna be happy with moobear... I am so complicated

why am I so complicated

but somehow moobear always knows what to say to me..

makes me wanna tell him i love him! ><"
but i know that's not very good. i am pms-ing after all..

i donooo ><"

i feel like i am not the best i can be.. so i feel as though i have failed people around me.. like my boyfriend... ><"

muu - sick & useless 

May 04 [Sun], 2008, 15:31
UPDATES! I work at Spring Rolls now. I am a Delivery Packer.

I only write on this blog when I am sad.

I am sick now. Moobear asked me to ask my mom about the doctor's.
My mom got angry at yelled at me -_-"

I asked Moobear if I am useless -_-
He asked me what did I think?
and I said that if I wasn't here, someone would take my place
And he said he was sad

Why is he sad? -_-
Am I honest? Or does he think I was a better person to say this?
muuuuu I don't want him to be sad

muuu I haven't felt this sad in a while -.-"
Maybe cuz I'm sick. I told him I would go to bedbed. But I am writing this instead.

Advertising vs. Graphic Designer vs. Business. 

February 29 [Fri], 2008, 14:23
Advertising vs. Graphic Designer vs. Business.

Sigh. These days have proven me wrong.
I'm not sure what I want to do with my life.

Lately, I've been doing favors for people, Chengchen, Yaungchen, and Ryan, and it all deals with designing and photoshopping. This experience has made me miss photoshop. Why did I get a macbook Because of graphics. I feel that if I give up pursuing design or graphic-related things, it is useless.

I recently took a personality quiz. At first I was reluctant, I thought the presentation was a joke, but it turns out to be different. I learned a lot about myself and it was actually the first workshop I have ever been in that changed my view. I learned that people are different from their personalities. I found out that I am the personality blue. Blue people are harmonious. Independant. They can't sit at a desk all day.
and all that jazz. ANYWAYS. I'm tired.
I need to learn how to type faster.


ANYWAYS.
I did an online quiz.

=====================
Your Existing Situation
Defensive. Feels her position is threatened or inadequately established. Determined to pursue her objectives despite the anxiety induced by opposition.

Your Stress Sources
Wishes to be independent, unhampered, and free from any limitation or restriction, other than those which she imposes of herself or by her own choice and decision.

Your Restrained Characteristics
Remains emotionally unattached even when involved in a close relationship.

Wants to broaden her fields of activity and insists that her hopes and ideas are realistic. Distressed by the fear that she may be prevented from doing what she wants; needs both peaceful conditions and quiet reassurance to restore her confidence.

Your Desired Objective
Wishes to find her stimulation in a voluptuous atmosphere of sensuous luxury.

Your Actual Problem
Seeks to avoid criticism and to prevent restriction of her freedom to act, and to decide for herself by the exercise of great personal charm in her dealings with others.

mild version of my breakdown 

December 31 [Mon], 2007, 14:05
Well it's not really a breakdown.

Thanks for bringing me to the place that your ex works the first time we formally met. I don't know what that means, but it makes me angry. Was it coincidence? I think not. Is it one of those, let's show the ex that I've moved on? I mean I felt that way sometimes, but that means I'm just thinking about the ex. Doesn't it? I know you guys still talk. A girl like me can't take that quietly.

Oh. I also know that when you refer to your friend's friend's little sister, "friend" really means your ex. The person who works at iMaid cafe.

What is "mooeow"? Is that like, your thing with her? Is she a neko-chan too? What the hell am I to you? Another version of her? I don't want you comparing me to her. Is this why you like me? Do I remind you of her? Do you really want to be with me? Do you laugh inside everytime "mooeow" comes up in our conversations? Are you reminded of your happy past? I refuse to be a continuation of your past.

I dont understand you. Remember that day in my basement, you go through your facebook friend list? Why on Earth would you tell me that that is the girl you had a crush on? How is that supposed to make me feel?

I just called you. You went to a friend's house. There's no signal. Okay, I feel much better. "Easy." Way to end the phone call. What are you trying to do? Sound cool to your friends? This is stupid. I'm not even going to argue about this.

Goddamn it I'm done for now.

Kevin taught me about trust. Trust is unquestionable. Either you trust or you don't. If shit happens, you either forgive or it's over. that's just life. I'm done now.

I love my boyfriend. Regardless of all this shit.

MEH 

December 29 [Sat], 2007, 0:42
Not really feeling anything about this

Jack goes to his work party. I call him 3 times, third time he picks up and says nothing. I assume he just hit the button for it and does not answer. That doofus.

I call him in the morning twice, around 10am, he says he's been doing course selections and is really tired.

I go on MSN, and I see you messaging me at 4am telling me you are drunk.

What the hell did you do? Sleep downtown? Did you just get home? What course selections? When you are drunk? What is that even? Oh well.
I guess it's both.

Whatever. He should call me later. If he doesn't. Forget about talking to me for a week =="

jack and I kinda fought for the first time 

December 24 [Mon], 2007, 19:41
I have this feeling that I get before a boy tells me it's over.


Jack. I love you =)
If you leave me, I will be sad.
I'm sorry I have bad memory. I remember it now.
I was just scared that if I told you what was bothering me, we would have fought more about it... Forgive me.
It's now 6AM, and I still haven't slept.
I got your message at 3:27AM. That you feel better. That's good.
I'm sorry that I didn't listen when I should have instead of arguing.
I'll try harder because.. you are worth it =)
I love the jerk in you, because it makes you you.
I'm sorry I said that...

"I don't like it when you're a jerk"
"Then don't like me. I'll just go to subway and buy a turkey sandwich on Christmas Eve and eat it alone the next day"

Do you know how sad that made me when you said that..? Very.

I think we are meant for more than this. =)

Let's spend the holidays together =)
Take away all this stress.

I love you ^-^

Remaining Tasks 

December 12 [Wed], 2007, 13:22
ART HISTORY FINAL. Why isn't it done yet?! (On Wednesday? OMG! and now ><)
2 Digital Imaging Labs (During Class)
3 Types of Shading Techniques (4 hours on Wednesday)
Life Drawing Presentation (4 hours on Thursday)

omg. wtpho.

Let The Drummer Kick 

December 06 [Thu], 2007, 9:28
Nyaaaa. Gotta do my project now.

Kitchen! >_

Stupid boyfriend..
P R
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