It is 3am and I think I should write this down.
A few days ago an old friend of mine (junior) from secondary school days just got engaged. The feelings and thoughts that went through my mind at the point of knowing were indescribable!
You see, she was a close friend of mine during the period where we were experimenting with life, very eager to share our discoveries and findings about school, people and boys - or rather the one boy in our lives at that point of time. We chatted over msn, we met up for coffee, we discussed relationship troubles. We were quite close then because we had the same troubles haha.
Slowly, gradually, we got busy and lazy and MSN became old technology. So we carried on with living, made new friends along the way and stopped meeting up.
I remember the last time we met and had a conversation, it was when she just got together with her new boy. We discussed about uncertainties...Afterwards I never knew how her life went other than the pictures on facebook.
And wow who knew 3years (was it?) went by just like that and they are engaged! I think part of me feels betrayed! The sentimental me can't help recalling old times and thus my memories with the friend are frozen in the time where we were still drowning in relationship troubles and all of a sudden she's getting married! I'm like Hey when did that happen? When did you find happiness how come I didn't know? Now im alone swimming in pool of r/s troubles!
Do you know the feeling I'm trying to describe? There is a hole in our friendship timeline and silly me is expecting everything to have stayed the same.
But wow how it has changed, and I am really really happy that she has found someone for life and sad that I was not in touch all these while to know the full story.
Such a strange feeling... a good friend getting engaged. Cynical me never thought that I would be able to feel happy for someone else during times like this. But because I know the bad times she has been through with past shitty boy, it feels great to know it will be good times for the rest of her life with the new good boy.
Sigh, I feel like a parent.
Sigh, I would like something life changing (happy event please) to happen to me too.
Hoping she would read this! But paiseh to msg this to her directly hehe