mmm, ya... SH means a lot to me. and the new frds i met since the trip give me new sparks of thoughts. maybe because we needa grow up? the "meaning of life", "meaning of university" etc ideas just jumped up into my mind. i have never seriously talked about these things w/ frds. or maybe i have before, but never treated that seriously.
He means a lot to me. despite the relationship, he taught me a lot, shared a lot w/ me. i told myself not to think of him, but simply i cant get rid of him.
i cant make my words clear, as my mind is as messy as my words here.
the good side is i dun love someone easily, the bad side is i dun forget someone easily too. time will cure, i know. but for some moments, i thought he's the right person, sharing similar minds with me, having similar hobbies, studying similar subjects, and, also a christian. maybe because he is good, i dun wanna let go.
whatever, really whatever. i dun care, i needa grow up, i needa learn.
what makes my mind even more messy is ken. the boy u met that day. he's my chong mate. somehow i can foresee that if we continue the way we are, we may develop. i havent fallen in love w/ him now, but if time goes on like now, who knows?
the most cruel fact is i feel afraid. i fear love.
i fear to change. ... cant really say the real feeling out expressly here.
i know i shdnt think too much. let it be. let god do his job.
flower. thx. really impressed. really really moved.
ha, shd we have a chat sometime later? and apple, we have dated to have a chat w/ her, haven't we? fong sum lah~ the cheerful paulina is coming back, on the middle of her way.