So I'm up here tonight representing the category of best man. When Charlie first came to me and asked me to be his best man, it was a great honor but, after discovering all the duties required of me, I felt he'd better off choosing someone else. Then he offered me twenty dollars, but I told him that it wasn't a decision that money could change. So then he offered me forty dollars. Anyway, good evening ladies and gentlemen - my name is Scott and it's my pleasure to be Charlie's best man. So without further ado in time-honored tradition, I will now do my best to give Charlie the most uncomfortable five minutes of Amber's life will be later on this evening, courtesy of Charlie. In preparing this speech, I was advised not to make it too long, which was fine by me. In fact, I was told that a best man's speech shouldn't last any longer than it's likely to take the groom to perform his husbandly duties on his weeding night - which was even better news. So, ladies and gentlemen, in all honesty my speech should have been over by now. Ladies and gentlemen lets start with saying these two people are very important to all of us. The great thing about tonight is as the evening progresses most of us will have to opportunity to spend more time talking to them. So please join me in a very special toast to the bar staff...Thank you. Charlie was born on September 24th, 1981. So for hours I tried to link this day to some major event. Unfortunately nothing important really happened on September 24th, 1981, but to this day some westerly hospital staff still refer to that day as UGLY Thursday.
A little later in life Charlie was found to be a slow starter. In preschool Louboutins he was different from all the other four year olds.
Even with being slow I would like to congratulate Charlie on his impeccable taste in choosing such beautiful life. And Amber, well done, on saying "I do" to my best friend Charlie, because, let's face it - that must have Christian Louboutin Sydney been very hard.
The Second item on the best mans all important list of things to accomplish was throwing Charlie a bachelor party.
I must say throwing him a bachelor party was the most enjoyable of all best man duties. And I'm delighted to tell you that it passed without incident or disaster - or at least that's what I thought until the Party bus company returned my deposit, minus a $500 cleaning fee. They started that they found numerous adult wet wipes clogging the onboard toilet system which had to be disassembled and fixed. There were 16 of us on the trip and it's only fair that the culprit for this unfortunate accident remains anonymous, because it could ruin his wedding day if anyone else found out.
Lastly the most important best man duty is making sure that the groom was looking good and arrived on time today.
"Well Amber, I got him here on time without any major incidents but, Louboutin with regards to his looks I'm sorry I tried my best, but if nature didn't get them in order the first time around, what chance did I honestly have?"