That's it. This relationship have brought out the ugly side of me. You will see it in this post. How many times have I put up with your abuse? Abusive love, yeah right. Do you remember the time you demanded back the gifts you gave me for your birthday. I treasure those items, and you know how much it meant to me yet you still said it. I can't just believe you said it. But after all they're material things which shouldn't mean much to me. Anyway I don't know if I can put up with you anymore. I try so hard to think of all the positive things that's happened in this relationship but now I'm weak and tired and frail from all the thoughts. I've just had enough.
I hope you're reading this. You will one day. I just can't believe you would let yourself be approached by that girl. But if I'm reasonable, it's something you can't control. See, there again, I'm defending for you. Do you deserve a girl like me anymore? I think not. This relationship has brought out the ugly side of me. I've had enough of crying every week. It's less these days now. Doesn't mean that I'm happier though. You are...I don't know. I clench my teeth and hands when I think about you. It's so depressing just thinking about you. Sometimes I'm even disgusted by my thoughts. I can't stand it anymore. I want to know the best solution to end this. To end it right now. But there is no ending...there is no escape from this relationship. No way in the world I can avoid myself from suffering in this relationship. Oh well. Maybe i deserve this.
How about how I let you talk to other girls? Do I talk to guys every night like you do? No, I don't. I have seriously cut back down on contacting my guy friends since I've gotten into this relationship. Maybe one day she will slowly steal you away from me. You have shown your liking towards her. "More than friends" or "friends but bordering on the relationship-relationship". I don't fucking know what you want to do with her but I assure you will find her in your bed the next morning or something or rather. I'm still so angry about everything. I thought my nap would have refreshed my mind and made me think clearer, but it seems it's doing the opposite. My mind is clouded and I have an ugly personality. My ugly side of me is shown tonight.
I don't care anymore. All the hurt and mending has been done. I don't want to go through it again...the abuse. You have shown me that you wanted to change, but don't change. Once an abuser, always an abuser. I don't believe you can change your ways. I know you were abusive to your past girlfriend/s too, offline or online; physically, or mentally. I read your emails and I know what kind of person you can be like. F*** this. F*** myself for saying these sort of stuff online. I don't know how anyone can deal with me. I can't even stand myself anymore.
I hope you're reading this. You will one day. I just can't believe you would let yourself be approached by that girl. But if I'm reasonable, it's something you can't control. See, there again, I'm defending for you. Do you deserve a girl like me anymore? I think not. This relationship has brought out the ugly side of me. I've had enough of crying every week. It's less these days now. Doesn't mean that I'm happier though. You are...I don't know. I clench my teeth and hands when I think about you. It's so depressing just thinking about you. Sometimes I'm even disgusted by my thoughts. I can't stand it anymore. I want to know the best solution to end this. To end it right now. But there is no ending...there is no escape from this relationship. No way in the world I can avoid myself from suffering in this relationship. Oh well. Maybe i deserve this.
How about how I let you talk to other girls? Do I talk to guys every night like you do? No, I don't. I have seriously cut back down on contacting my guy friends since I've gotten into this relationship. Maybe one day she will slowly steal you away from me. You have shown your liking towards her. "More than friends" or "friends but bordering on the relationship-relationship". I don't fucking know what you want to do with her but I assure you will find her in your bed the next morning or something or rather. I'm still so angry about everything. I thought my nap would have refreshed my mind and made me think clearer, but it seems it's doing the opposite. My mind is clouded and I have an ugly personality. My ugly side of me is shown tonight.
I don't care anymore. All the hurt and mending has been done. I don't want to go through it again...the abuse. You have shown me that you wanted to change, but don't change. Once an abuser, always an abuser. I don't believe you can change your ways. I know you were abusive to your past girlfriend/s too, offline or online; physically, or mentally. I read your emails and I know what kind of person you can be like. F*** this. F*** myself for saying these sort of stuff online. I don't know how anyone can deal with me. I can't even stand myself anymore.
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