>: 

March 26 [Wed], 2008, 19:52
i'm so fucking tired. AH T__T fuck fuck fucking tired. i almost fell asleep getting my breakfast. my dad stared. haha he's so funny. he just noticed my sponge bob slippers and just shook his head.


*is eating watermelon*

so i haven't updated in awhile. i was considering deleting my yaplog.


hmmm
so weird
but lately all i do is
think
think
think
at school every words seems to take an effect

i kind of think my love can regain innocence if we stay strangers
isn't the fact that two people care about each other enough
maybe that's why i've never been in a relationship.
i don't know

or maybe it's easier to love unattainable things
because that person can never hurt you because they'll never be with you?
what am i saying

AHH i have to finish my english homework now. my dad chased the cat out of the kitchen. haha he told her "help sarah with her english homework"
but all she is doing is eating my food!!

- - -
i can't wait to see world. my world in plano is so small even though it's a world i've come to love over the past 12 years, i at the same time cannot wait to abandon it. there's nothing left for me here. there is so much more in this world to see...

- - -
cant wait to get on the bus im gonna crash and sleep the entire ride

so you know the color of my heart 

March 10 [Mon], 2008, 4:43
~~~
2046
Do you know what people did in the old days

when they had secrets they didn't want to

share? They'd climb a moutain, find a tree,

carve a hole in it, whisper the secret into the

hole and cover it up with mud. That way, nobody

else would ever learn the secret...
~~~~~

reminder~ 

March 08 [Sat], 2008, 14:17
march 28= hanging out w/ annabelle friday after next friday so maybe you can go!

river of tears 

March 07 [Fri], 2008, 18:21
Sometimes I think if I did something different we could've been together. The most minor detail could have changed everything.
promise to you who steals my heart next and promise to myself: i won't let you get away. i won't let my logic beat louder than my heart. i want to tell you how you make me blossom at every glance.


i don't know where that came from.
so last night i watched america's best dancecrew. it was so amazing! really! they are so dedicated, and i am not. i finally started on my versailles drawing because i felt so inspired. i'll work on it next week on the airplane.
the episode before the last when this group got eliminated, the girl started to cry so much. even though they failed, they all continued to dance. i've never seen someone so passionate.
the other girl said
"we worked hard"
"we worked sooo hard"
before the tears began to fall down her face i felt really bad watching it.

i want to be able to say the same thing. even if in the end i am a failure, i want to be able to say the same exact words. i'm going to work hard for all my dreams. there are many things i want to embark on, but right now i have one dream that is so dear to me.
i'll start going to the gym everday. maybe i can be model after all. or should i say "i will be"

i will be.

p.s.
remember
remember me when you no longer see my face
remember me when you no longer hear my voice
remember me when you no longer feel my smile
i'll remember the sight of your face
i'll remember the sweet tune your voice
i'll remember the warmth of your smile

i love my tutu 

March 07 [Fri], 2008, 9:13

my environmental science project~ i had to make tutu out of recyclable things



i feel a lot better now. today i got a lot of homework done. (: it snowed too! i watched the drama "cruel love" with my cat on my lap.


me and kitty


~~~~
i feel happy again.

rejection is like the air she breathes 

March 06 [Thu], 2008, 23:00
i'm really hungry right now, but i can't eat anything because of my throat. i just the saw bus outside the window. it's funny how not going to school can make my heart waver so much.

love for you never fades 

March 06 [Thu], 2008, 13:36
whenever someone asks me "what's wrong" i feel like bursting into tears. i couldn't stop crying after the nurse sent me home.
i've been working so hard, and it seems all of that hard work has meant nothing.
but it's ok.
it's ok.
nurse was just doing her job.
i can keep working hard.
i can work harder.
waiting in the doctor's room felt surreal. my mom didn't come in because i'm 18 now. i felt really trapped in their. the past couple of weeks have been so hard for me. they took blood from my finger because they thought i had mono.
thank god all the tests came out negative.



12 weeks left of school
60 days til i die
or maybe 60 days til i love agin

i don't think i should go anywhere this weekend because of my english project.

strawberries and creme 

March 03 [Mon], 2008, 13:15
my dad is so funny. we went to my old work to get my W2 form. it has something to do with income tax~~~

my x-boss was not there so we just sat around marble slab. i said
"why does mama yell so much? i cannot sit in the car with her for 5 minutes. it annoys me so much. i think to myself how can you marry her"

my dad says
"yeah. sometimes i ignore her"
XD
ah!! ah!! ah! i laughed so hard

but then he said
"she really cares about you"

HMmm they have been married for 20 something years

afterwards my dad and i got starbucks

s m i l e like you mean it. 

March 03 [Mon], 2008, 10:54
i can smile again









lost denial. 

February 28 [Thu], 2008, 19:52
honestly.
it makes me so jealous.

i love you so much.
i love everyone so much.
i don't want anything to change.

i couldn't look at your faces in the morning.
i couldn't look at your faces during lunch.


what's wrong with me?
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