The risk 

2005年05月25日(水) 21時11分
"The journey to your true self is a life filled with risk. You must risk if you want to live a life that you would be proud to call your own. Remember, fear thrives on safety. Love thrives on risk."
~ Rhonda Britten

What is something that you would consider a risk? Is it your job? Your dream? Your family? A significant other? Why do people risk in their lives? What are the things worth risking?

I've taken few risks in my life and the few that I've done so are worth it. There are days when I don't feel good about what happened but still, at least I've done it! But there are some risks that I didn't take and that's what I'm thinking about. A lot sometimes. And I'm angry at myself that I even waste my time on thinking about it. But I didn't risk it. So I didn't. I have to move on. I try. I did. Yet I still remember it. I still look back. Perhaps it wasn't a risk worth taking. I'm not regretting. I'm just wondering. And sometimes that's the worst of it all!

The dream 

2005年03月28日(月) 12時35分
They say dreams are the wants of your subconscious. The deepest desires that you haven't fulfilled. The secret pleasures that you indulge in or cannot yet indulge in. Something that you don't want to reveal to yourself in reality because it hurts too much to actually say you want it. And others point out that dreams are all about you. Your thoughts, your alter ego, your masculinity or femininity, and basically anything, everything, something, and all about you. I say it can be all of this and even more. For who can really say what your dreams are made of and what it contains? Nobody really knows...except perhaps you.

Why do you remember dreams in the first place? They hold significant meaning for you in one way or another, like it or not. Its amazing how some dreams can be so distinct and detailed and for others to be so hazy and foggy. What makes one dream in certain ways that one can either get to see and maybe even touch something that they may not even see while awake or unable to get through without fear. One thing I make certain of in dreams is the feeling during specific moments. And if it involves persons how they looked like and what was my feeling towards them and maybe vice-versa if possible. I find such great insight on those moments. And its because that's what I consciously remember which makes it all the more memorable.

In a way, dreams can make you realize something which you ordinarily won't even attempt to recognize. It can be hard to accept certain things such as mistakes or longings and sometimes even feelings when you're in the "real" world. Depending on who you're with, you can either be persuaded or not to dream. Be it the dreams you have during R.E.M. or maybe the goals you have in life. But in the end it all depends on you if you'll be dreaming or not. And will you be listening to it and even try to accomplish it? Dream a little dream...

The past 

2005年03月17日(木) 16時42分
According to Merriam-Webster:
Main Entry: 1 past
Pronunciation: 'past
Function: adjective
Etymology: Middle English, from past participle of passen to pass
1 a : AGO <12 years past> b : just gone or elapsed
2 : having existed or taken place in a period before the present : BYGONE
3 : of, relating to, or constituting a verb tense that is expressive of elapsed time and that in English is usually formed by internal vowel change (as in sang) or by the addition of a suffix (as in laughed)

There are always brief moments in life when you suddenly get to take a look back on your past. Sometimes it will make you sad, it will make you happy, it will make you angry. But whatever the emotion you feel, the past is still something that cannot be changed. That's why I believe that it can be a waste of time to think about it. Then again, how can one learn lessons much needed in living if one does not look back at one's past.

Looking back is one thing and living in the past is another. Besides the obviousness of the two, the latter has a negative connotation on it. Especially when you're trying to live your present life. Because living in the past makes one simply relive and believe in all the glories and beliefs that are of another time that is unhealthy. To constantly live in the past is stubbornly refusing the realities that change brings in the present. Alas this cannot be forced but must be realized and actualized.

I think that I have something of a nature to look back. Because of its familiarity, I do this often but luckily l know my limits because it is the future I'm looking forward to and the present that I'm fully enjoying and the actual time that I am living.
P R
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