tired... 

March 04 [Sat], 2006, 16:35
im so tired of everything...!

cameron is gonna hava competition on 18th and i really wanna go down to see his performance but i dont hear from him like for 1 month. it sucks.

Los Angeles... 

February 14 [Tue], 2006, 8:06
that was awesome. his haircut made him look like a lesbian though...lol
this is somehow i cant forget him. i like him a lot, and i wanna be always in touch with him even thoguh im not his girl.

heres the one i got from him on the last day of this visit.

iyoooooo

hey, hope you made it back alright. i had a good time
this weekend, and because of you, so did most of my
roommates. like i said, they were all very impressed.
. wow , we didnt take like any pictures. all you have
is my friends humping air to music to remember your
trip by.... anyways,,,,, hope you had a good time!



crazy... 

January 15 [Sun], 2006, 17:07
i AM crazy...

im going down to l.a of course to see him...again next weekend. i didnt know what to do when i got a email from him...and just followed what i felt back then. and i said id love to go.

i dont think im so much into him...surely not that much like before. but if he can give me a big hug and a sweetest kiss, thats more than enough for me...

last night, while i was on msn talking with yohan, i said "ill never go down to see him...never." i made a decision just like this last night! and now i already changed my mind....crazy.

hope i can have a better guy in 2006!

japan-home 

January 05 [Thu], 2006, 19:47
im back home right now. needless to say, its so comfortable.

now i dont wanna go back to Merced, the place where they live...people that make me feel sick. i still cannot forgive him.

i dont wanna see anybody anymore in the US. no more relationship with stupid guys. i wont go down to la to see cameron, i wont...

thats not becasue he is a bad guy, yea..he could be very nice to someone special and exactly right for him. but just not to me. my friend made me notice...the feeling he has to me is not the same as mine, and THAT causes too much pain in my heart...its not his fault.

feeling like theres nobody that i can share every feeling and...nobody to trust.

i dont wanna go back there. i know i have to and im going to.

wish tons of smiles in my days of 2006!

woo-hoo! 

December 21 [Wed], 2005, 14:06
im happiest ever! this is so sweet!

Cam finally changed his hair style!!!!!!!!!!! that i didn't like at all...cuz that made him look older like 35...

so cute...

yeyey? 

December 16 [Fri], 2005, 15:19
then! he went out from the house and followed me! and just yelled at me!!!!! can you believe that?! i had no idea what he was doing! it drived me crazy! and of couse i got mad at him too and just kept ignoring him while he was following me! guys should NEVER threaten girls in any ways!!

later i found that he was mad at me cuz i left without letting him show the way to care plants! thats crazy!!!!!!it was half my fault but he cares very teeny tiny things tooo much and i cant take it!

i dont like hot tempered people cuz it remainds me of my dad who i hate most in the world!!!!!

now they got together again and i dont have to leave this house, but i will!!!!! I WILL! pretty soon hopefully.....

I WANNA GO BACK TO JAPAN!!!!!!!!! i need at least sane people to be with!!!!!

seems like NO fun and happiness in merced...

SMILE!

yey? 

December 16 [Fri], 2005, 14:25
my host dad and mom got back from Seattle with big smiles. last week, they had a big argument and they were almost getting divorsed. and actually my host mom told me that maybe id better start looking for a now place to live cuz she was going to leave this house sometime soon. BUT now they got back together again!

i dunno...im kind of confused and i have no idea why she changed her mind so easily! i think she should leave him and start looking for a better guy...she is just too good for him. she is well educated, fun loving, and has good sence of humor...and she is very beautiful. i like her personality very much and want her to be happy. and i dont think he is the guy who can make her happy. i told this to her and then she was like nodding all the time and showing her agreement.

i know all her sisters dont like him they dont look so though!

smoking pots everyday, having no stable job, always doing a game on line...he is obviously no good. yes, he is pretty playful person and its certainly fun to be with him. he can be boyfriend material, but not for my husband!!!!!! NEVER! i dont have to think about it though..hehe

the reason im refering to him like this is that we..me and him had a fight last week. it was in the MORNING! he knocked the door and asked me for taking care of the plants (for smoking!) while he'd been in seattle. i didnt wanna do that but i said yes...lol he wanted me to go down there and let him explain "how to" and i said i was okay to give him few munites for it. but then he said he was going to leave a memo showing the direction. so i said goodbye and went to school.

oops! 

December 05 [Mon], 2005, 14:36
i got an email from my ex-penpal Stuart. he lives in england and goes to an art school right now. lately i found it was so much fun to talk with him cuz hes just so nice and fun...i guess since we both are pretty much playful and fun-loving people, i always got excited chatting with him with irony, jokes, dirty things...lol...and everything!

i dunno...he is just way nicer than american guys...and i think he is cute. and he is really into art. all about art...and i love that. he always stays up late(like until 2am!) to finish his art stuffs...his life is the one i exactly wanted to have cuz i love art too.

but...he is a british...yea, so what?lol just i cant start dating with him. its sad.

umm, i dunno....but its fine cuz its always awesome to talk with him. surely better than cam...lol cam is good at making me wanna cuddle him though...hehe

he never makes me feel sad. it seems to be the most vital thing for me.

im gonna keep in touch with Stu anyways! haha!

Tattoo 

November 29 [Tue], 2005, 4:12
わーちゃんのリクエストにお応えして、Tattooの写真載せちゃいます

ミノルって読みますMy emotional tattoo standing for my deepest love for my family...sweet,huh?

墨の色は黒彫師の人に色付けたいって頼んだんだけど、黒のが絶対イイって勧められて・・・でも今は気に入ってます

aha! this is the one that i tried to send to Ken-chan! 化粧がうまいと褒められたのでおもいっきり綺麗に化粧して写真とって送ろうと試みましたが・・・恥ずかしいのでや〜めたけどなかなかおきいにいり

the one i got 3days ago... 

November 27 [Sun], 2005, 3:51
hey iyo..

so my busy weekend is finally over! im so tired today,
i've decided to not go to any of my classes. all of
the concerts went very well. when i played a solo on
saturday, they said they're going to use the recording
of it as a recruitment cd (to get other kids from
different colleges and high schools to come to my
university). i may be able to get a copy of the
recording, and maybe i can send it with your bag
(which i've still not forgotten about). i did very
well in that competition that i think i told you
about. i made it past the first round and everybody
except me and this other girl were eliminated. so we
go against each other next wednesday. i hope i kick
her ass. ikuo's girlfriend bought him plane tickets
back to japan, he left today. he's only gone until
sunday though. he said he wont even be visiting his
family, who live in osaka, because he will be near
tokyo. he says thats about as far from here to san
francisco. but still, i'd think after a 20 hour plane
ride or however long, you'd get to see your family. i
dont know.

err. i dont remember natsumi. i can ask Dave about her
though. i'm glad to hear your new family isnt
christian.

over winter break...hmm. well, my winter break lasts
from december 12 (i think) to january 30, so i
probably will have a concert sometime in between those
dates. as soon as i find out, ill let you know.

anyways, relaxing calls...

Cameron
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