encouragement and hate

October 07 [Tue], 2008, 22:43
i don't know why i feel like keeping diary when i have to study hard for exam
recently i found a senior girl who goes to same private school
she's cute with the face, voice, emotion for a man she loves
we are quite different. i am not such a girl
i wonder why she can do both enjoying and studying
when i walk next to her, my view is bit different
i was bit shocked when i found a guy smiling with her beside
we talked about private school, exam, trip, and so on.
but we just give questions and answers, can't keep on having conversation
i wanna cheer her up on entrance examination


October 05 [Sun], 2008, 17:26

loneliness,not emptiness

September 25 [Thu], 2008, 22:55
suddenly i felt lonely
please don't pass by
i should treasure my friends i have now

i tool full score on ancient japanese vocabulary test*

i have to make decision about club
stop, or not
give up, or not
be honest,or not
can this dream come true?
in fact i don't know about him well
all i know is just he's calm
even if i could squeeze courage, my pride would be destroyed...
i should stop it. i decided.


September 24 [Wed], 2008, 22:52
i feel i want somebody to say 'i need you'
so even for only the time i say 'i need you' to other people
how can i love people deeply except when i am sad?
today i happened to meet senior student of my club and we talked about drama and exam
i ate chocolate and drank peach tea*
i found downy i wanna know how you feel after you used it:)


September 20 [Sat], 2008, 19:51
don't understand boys.
apple bran and belgian chocolate, at home drama were awesome.
in the drama, four members are close and honest in good way.
they don't deny anything,therefore it was worm.
also,i could come back to my home early today**
i will study world history and english.


September 19 [Fri], 2008, 20:29
some thoughts were in my mind for these few days.
today i joined an event.
there were two boys who belong to clever high school,and they talked about studying japanese.
those boys seem not so interested in something real,like human relationship.
then i noticed focusing on only studying and not being interested in real people, aren't respected and admired by other people, who's not interested in studying.
i think it's sad and shame to be seen like that.
so i decided to try to be balanced people,who can think of people.
also,i feel i got a little of personality one of club members has.
she is a little bit similar to my old friend. she wants to be loved. sometimes she's ひねくれ者.
i suspect she doesn't believe almost all people.

recently i am honest to myself. watching drama, i could feel the girl's feeling that she wants to entire music band because she found something new to do.
what she wanted to do wasn't it.
what i wanted to do wasn't it.


September 15 [Mon], 2008, 21:52
title has nothing to do with content.
today i played with my (since junior high school) friend.
we kept on talking in our house. :)
i saw 太陽と海の教室 *
i wanna love neighbor and be clever...
i don't wanna be 3rd grader 'cause it seems to be... pressure-packed.

i am sorry for leaving only note.

no title

September 13 [Sat], 2008, 19:45
i am sorry for being absent from here for a long time ><
i feel like writing down my latest something true.
recently, i like something good (restaurants or cafe,shop)that's not popular. i like used clothes.
studying abroad was good,though sometimes it was uneasy.
let me not to write much about it.
after coming back to japan,i feel jealous ... for mom and her,one of my friend.
i wanna fix the relationship with him.
before that i don't even know about him and we don't spend much time to know.
but i like him. i don't want her to exchange mail with him.
she's kind,therefore i feel jealous.
it is always difficult to be loved. even if another boy approach me,i don't like him.
when i do,he doesn't.

recently my taste seems to be more extreme than before.


August 01 [Fri], 2008, 19:18
i am a little nervous just because i gonna go oversea soon...

today i had few plan to do, so i could have room,that i hadn't had for long time.

what i should do is maybe studying english and homework of mathematics!

all teacher or people who have experienced to be in foreign countries say me 'say YES or NO clearly ' and ' you should tell what you want and what you think. otherwise around people can't understand you . '
frankly speaking i am not going out.
but i'd like to spend much time with family and enjoy staying and english.

something differ

July 12 [Sat], 2008, 21:37
yesterday,i shared class with foreign students came to japan to study abroad.

i guessed they are a little nervous because probably it is first time to visit japan for them.
however they are relaxed than i expected.

talking and being with them,i realized they are much more outgoing than japanese,and they seem to dislike something in sad mood.
i felt i could understand why my english teacher(she is american) told me to more outgoing to go to australia.

i've ever met other foreign people from another countries.
of course they have different personalities: thoughtful,kind,funny etc.

but i think foreign people are basically and commonly outgoing and friendly.(especially american or australian,kiwi,canadian)
however, i am wondering how they behave to their special people, close friends.
they does what is seems to do to close people in japan,but it is common for them.
an exchange student who stayed in japan for 1 year said japanese doesn't hug but they have kindness.

now i am thinking of way of being thoughtful and difference between people in different part of the earth.

of course what i wrote are just my opinion and i don't complain to them.

if i could i wanna know your opinion or idea:)
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